Eating Las Vegas
Recession? There’s a recession going on?? There certainly isn’t any evidence of one here in Vegas, where half the strip is under construction for 4 or 5 brand-new über hotels – slash – upscale residences (that of course must dwarf the ridiculously large ones alraedy there) and a giant Tiffany’s. Perhaps it’s not as dense with people as usual, I wouldn’t know, but I can’t imagine them cramming any more into the FOUR STORY M&Ms STORE or onto the 11 acre beach outside (at Mandalay Bay), where with 43 floors and 1117 rooms they still didn’t manage to have one for us when we arrived Friday night (with a reservation) and instead put the three of us in a one-bed room with a cot. (Have I mentioned we’re all in the vicinity of 6 feet tall?) So we had to pack up again and change rooms today, and then our new one wasn’t ready, and while we’re on the subject: you’d think that a $319 a night hotel room might include internet access but no, you have to pay $15 US a day for it, and there’s no option of a free business centre in the lobby. What decade is this? Even the $40-a-night Best Western over by Hooters offers free wireless.
It’s hot, and the beach at the hotel was packed. Every cabana, rented. Coors Light bikini girls playing volleyball. You go through a Disney-esque turnstile to even access the pool and its ammenties (bars, gift shops, casinos).
Vegas is a spectacle. Being here, I’ve decided, is the polar opposite of being in Tofino. Dry, desert heat (39 degrees this weekend-like a blast furnace door opens every time we exit an air conditioned building), astroturf outside, everything in quantity. Being in Vegas evokes the feeling that you’ve somehow been had. (And it does keep coming up – if you go to the Tix place out on the strip, you’ll pay almost half what you would for a show at the box office. And five minutes after paying $120 for four of us to go see the Bodies Exhibition – $30 each – we learned that we all could have gone in for $50 if we listened to some sort of sales pitch.)
Oh, and also? We might starve here. Or at least I might lose a few pounds due to sheer unavailabilty of food outside swanky restaurants (which would be a good thing according to the ultra-slim SCALE they have in the hotel room bathroom, which is called “Slimmer” and which registers me at 8.5 pounds more than I was at home). Who weighs themselves at hotels? There’s no coffee machine (although you can order a pot for the low low price of $13.50), no wine opener, but yes there is a spanking new digital scale, and a sex kit (I’ll leave that up to your imagination) for sale by the mini bar. (Priorities.)
So far I’ve been hemmoraging money. (Starbucks is about 50% more than in Calgary – grande Americano: $4.65. Paltry sandwich: $8.50. Muffin: $3.50. Water: $4.00) Around here, nothing is free – except maybe peep shows – or even cheap. It’s blowing me away that on the strip, which is like being on the Stampede grounds all the time, there are only sit-down restaurants and hardly any options for carry-out. Before going in to see the Bodies exhibit (wow) it was a struggle to locate a small gift store in the Luxor lobby that had something to eat we didn’t need to sit down to order – A & S bought $4 prepackaged sandwiches (those little plastic triangles – and these were the saddest I’ve seen) that were so soggy and slimy, S didn’t even eat hers. I paid $2 for a bag of M&Ms that we shared around.
Notice the outdoor ROLLER COASTER outside the New York New York? Everything is crazy and enormous and plastic here. We’ve had about a dozen Elvis sightings, one Marilyn Monroe, one Michael Jackson, and V saw Santa getting a massage at the Fashion Mall. And there are a lot of boobs. A LOT. I’ve never felt so simultaneously under and over dressed, or more lacking in the cleavage department. I’m surprised synthetic stilletos aren’t issued to us as we come through the arrivals gate.
But we’ve been taking your restaurant recommendations! Last night we arrived starving and upon promptly getting swallowed into the strip, pulled out my printed-out list of your comments and recognized the Bellagio, so we crossed the street (which might earn danger pay if you ever did it for a living) and went into Mon Ami Gabi and sat on the patio, square across from the fountain show. Perfect for the first night in Vegas – thanks Kayla!
We made the mistake of ordering appetizers while still at the bar waiting for our table and then the server told us about the Julie & Julia prix fixe menu, which I totally would have ordered (French onion soup, duck a l’orange, chocolate mousse) – instead I had pork tenderloin with date-glazed thickly cut bacon on an enormous pillow of mashed potatoes. With wine, I’m astounded I made it back to the hotel on foot.
Tonight was the big birthday dinner, and S & D’s husbands sent along their credit cards to cover dinner for the 16 of us. We ate in a private room at Aureole, one of many restaurants in the complex – it was fabulous inside, with a two-storey glass-encased wine cellar – although I don’t understand why Charlie Palmer would name a restaurant after a nipple. I had the theatre menu – rock shrimp cocktail with guacamole, grilled swordfish on ratatouille (look at me, being all healthy!) and – unfortunately – the cheesecake with roasted peaches (which weren’t roasted! that was the selling point!) instead of the chocolate-caramel platter with chocolate gelato that looked stupendous. WHAT WAS I THINKING?? I seem to always be disappointed with cheesecake.
Then we (appropriately) took a stretch Hummer to Freemont Street - old Vegas – to catch the light show (the consensus: lame – girls dressed as firemen doing a sexy dance on the ceiling?) and played 5 cent slots at the Golden Nugget.
By now we all feel like we’ve had enough -we got the gist- a day and a half in Vegas time feels like a week and we could easily (and happily – particularly A, who is sick and has completely lost use of her voice) go home tomorrow, but we have another 48 hours! Perhaps I’ll lounge around the hotel room, take baths in the tub that’s twice the size as mine at home, and post updates here.
September 13 2009 10:20 am | leftovers
thepinkpeppercorn on 13 Sep 2009 at 10:28 am #
hahaha. Yes, there isn’t much outside the high-end restaurants. Tip – on the cab ride to the hotel, have them stop at a grocery store and pick up a case of bottled water and a box of citrus fruit. There’s breakfast, and a LOT of savings on $5 a bottle anywhere else….
BOUCHON was my favourite dinner by MILES. Hope you keep updating!!!
H.Peter on 13 Sep 2009 at 11:36 am #
There is a Whole Foods located about 3 miles south of your hotel at 6605 Las Vegas Blvd S.
Lana on 13 Sep 2009 at 11:46 am #
Hang in there, my friend!
Jen T on 13 Sep 2009 at 11:49 am #
Sometimes the best things in life aren’t things at all –
At least you can say you did vegas – hope the rest of the trip is a blast!
Annalise on 13 Sep 2009 at 11:50 am #
Las Vegas is indeed a crazy town, and eating is a very expensive thing. But if you were looking to boost your mood, there are two things you can do.
1) Go See a Cirque du Soleil. Unlike the traveling shows, the stage at the permanent show is an essential part of the action. I saw Ka a few years ago and was blown away-the stage floats in a giant pit at the front and is always moving, even becoming vertical at one point. “O” at the Bellagio is also supposed to be fantastic. You could probably get cheap tickets at the booth.
2) Go to the Fashion Show Mall and make your way to Ethel’s chocolate lounge. These are some of the best chocolates I have tasted in my life and the only time I have ever had fruit creams that enjoyed. They are generous with their samples, but you can also sit in the store and have hot chocolate, fondue, and other delightful goodies. Better yet, take the factory tour-its just outside the city, on the way out to the Hoover Dam. http://www.ethelschocolate.com/about_us/factory_tour.aspx
Cam on 13 Sep 2009 at 11:59 am #
Mmmm… if the “Aureole” restaurant was french in inspiration, then you should know that the word can mean the “halo” of a saint. Maybe that’s the explanation?
Erica on 13 Sep 2009 at 12:28 pm #
I grumbled about the cost of internet access at the Flamingo – same deal. No scale there, but they did want to charge me exorbitant fees to use a treadmill for half an hour. Ugh. (If it makes you feel any better, I did lose a few pounds while I was there from all the walking – it’s amazing how much walking you can do exploring the Strip).
I *highly* recommend eating at Japonais, at the Mirage. And the Indiana Jones machines, since those were somehow the only machines that won me anything close to what I was putting in. Heh. We saw “O” at the Bellagio, too, and it was definitely worthwhile (there are often significant online discounts, if you look for them).
Enjoy the rest of your trip!
Hélène on 13 Sep 2009 at 1:36 pm #
Mon Ami Gabi is so good. We went in Vegas last November. We found cheap, really restaurants 5-10 min. from the strip. Also we went to Whole Foods for quick lunches at great prices. Enjoy!
Avery on 13 Sep 2009 at 2:25 pm #
Ha… I’ve been on that roller coaster! The only time I’ve been to Vagas was for S & B’s wedding in 2002. I was so poor I maxed out my credit for the plane ride alone, and lost all the $200 I set aside for four days of gambling (on nickel slots!)in two days. I was begging people to go with me to have the $1 steak in Old Vegas, because I couldn’t afford the buffet at the Flamingo. I think I subsisted on the free prezels that come with the “free” drinks on the gambling floor, and I secretly doggie-bagged leftover wedding reception food. Good times.
June on 13 Sep 2009 at 3:02 pm #
Ya, good old Vegas get’s bad & crappy really fast, doesn’t it? Good advice re Whole Foods & there’s a Trader Joe’s on S. Decatur ’bout 4 miles away. If you can get there it’s worth the trip if just for Cote du Rhone for $5.99 a bottle, plus I’m sure the staff would be happy to tell you where the real people hang out & eat.
Nancy on 13 Sep 2009 at 4:19 pm #
That’s what I’ve always felt I’d find in Vegas! Glad to hear it confirmed, so kind of feel I”m not missing out, although if and WHEN I do go, I’ll know some ins and outs!! Have fun anyway, treat yourself and have a blast!!!
Erica B. on 13 Sep 2009 at 4:38 pm #
2nd the recommendation for Bouchon, and for Whole Foods
Stephen Roden on 13 Sep 2009 at 5:07 pm #
Enjoy the heat, soak in the tub, revel in the decadence and relax for Christ’s sake. It’s going to be -35 in the West before you know it.
A piece of advice: Tip the cabana boy a 5′er and I assure you you’ll get a seat at the pool. Sorry Julie, but you’re in Vegas…”When in Rome”…
Jennifer on 13 Sep 2009 at 6:07 pm #
Now THAT’S a proper food and travel article. Thanks. I’ve been to Vegas twice, against my will, and found it to be overwhelmingly ridiculous AND expensive. My predominant memory is the simultaneous images of the fake gondoliers on the fake Venetian waterway, with a Krispy Kreme doughnut shop in the background. This was back when KK was super popular, so there was a stampede toward the doughnuts when the red light went off, as the stripy shirted gondolier just did his job rowing, rowing, rowing. Jenn
DJ on 13 Sep 2009 at 6:53 pm #
I’m with you on your Vegas review. My husband and I use to have as one of our life goals never to go to Vegas. Notice that I said “use to”? Ya well, one year while visiting my sister in southern Cal, she took us on a road trip to Vegas of all places. We were there for all of 48 hours and it was long enough. I too would take Tofino over Vegas any day!
Vivian on 13 Sep 2009 at 7:22 pm #
Ha, ha! Makes staid, old, boring Canada look pretty damn good, don’t it?! Makes me see even “Toronto the Good” as preferable. Please Lord, keep all of that empty, greedy, soul-sapping glitz south of the 49th!! Hurry home soon, sadder but wiser.
Jan on 13 Sep 2009 at 8:04 pm #
Yep, nice to hear that good old Las Vegas hasn’t changed – expensive! But the Cirque du Soleil show made it all worthwhile (unfortunately, we could only afford tickets to the Mystere show, and not the famous “O” – but it was still an excellent). Somehow the Cirque du Soleil shows that make their way around Canada are just NOT the same! Food was definitely expensive, so we all found it cheaper to eat once a day at the buffets. My favorite was Bellagio’s. Oh, and there is a sort-of food court inside Caesar’s Palace that has take-out food available….of course, it’s considerably more expensive than any of the food courts you’ll see here in Calgary, but it’s still much cheaper than the sit-down restaurants inside the casinos. Oh, and definitely don’t forget the outlet malls! If I remember correctly, there is a shuttle that will take you directly to them…the shuttle is located inside the forums of Aladdin’s. I believe the trip is like a 1/2 hour drive or something like that – but the shuttle is large, comfy and AIR CONDITIONED!
Carolyn on 14 Sep 2009 at 3:10 am #
Canada – Home Sweet Home!
Kate on 14 Sep 2009 at 4:46 am #
Thanks for confirming my lack of interest in Vegas. Never understood the fascination with “fake” from landscaping to architecture to body shapes!!!
Seems like a great place to visit if you need to regain a perspective on contentment with what sometimes feels “ordinary”.
Kathy on 14 Sep 2009 at 5:18 am #
My almost-Vegas story: We stopped on the outskirts of Vegas once whilst travelling in our (thankfully air conditioned) RV, needing to find a part. We stayed at an RV park outside of Vegas. In May it was 95 frickin’ degrees! We had a huge fight thanks to heat, the truck and us both overheating.
We did not venture down to the Strip and I have absolutely no desire to go. Your descriptions cinched it Julie. And the pictures just looking at all the people jam packed into that pool area ugh. if I want tons of people and exhorbitantly priced amenities I can stay here and go the Stampede.
Chelsey on 14 Sep 2009 at 7:19 am #
Seriously, if you are still in Vegas…go to the Mix in The Hotel @ Mandalay Bay. pricy, but you wont be disappointed…and you can walk there from your room. Or at least look it up and find pictures…its amazing
Kayla on 14 Sep 2009 at 7:50 am #
Glad you enjoyed Mon Ami Gabi! It is a pretty neat atmosphere…I do have to agree with you regarding the lack of cheap quick meals! There are definitely very few fast food restaurants or even convenience stores on the Strip. I recommend checking out the Las Vegas Premium Outlets if you have a chance and you’re interested in hemorraghing more money, lol. You definitely want to go the the open-air one north of the Strip, which definitely has better stores than the other outlet mall (and a food court!)
Cheryl Arkison on 14 Sep 2009 at 7:57 am #
I remember reading in one of my old Gourmets – which are now sitting at your house – about the best Chinese/Vietnamese/Thai place in the ‘burbs. Said it was one of the best in the country. It would get you off the strip too.
Robyn in Mountain (Ontario that is) on 14 Sep 2009 at 11:23 am #
Ha! I have a million things to do, but reading your blog Julie and everyone’s comments are priceless. Thanks for the chuckle. Viva Canada!
Hillary on 16 Sep 2009 at 3:38 pm #
Eat at Red Square in your hotel complex (near Aureole)!
It’s Russian fusion, and it was the best meal I had in Vegas – my experience was similar to yours, I thought everything was overhyped, overpriced, and shoddy on quality. This place was par for the course price-wise, but I felt like I actually got a quality, unique meal. And they have the most ridiculous vodka selection EVER.
Tom and Cathy on 26 Oct 2009 at 10:06 am #
We are going to Vegas this Friday. We go for the PBR World Finals. Last year we learned if you want to feed 4 people for 4 days you will need approximately $800.00 to complete that feat on the strip. What a Rip Off! The food is not even good.
This year we are taking a different approach. Packed in the suit case is a Hot Plate Sandwhich Maker and fold down cooler (seeing how there are not microwaves or fridges in the room). This is the only way we can cut costs for an enjoyable weekend. Scrambled eggs in the morning, grilled Ham and Cheese and chips for Lunch and then we will go out for dinner.
It is sad that American greed has taken over. We do not gamble, find the shows over priced so the only reason we go is for PBR World Finals and NFR…otherwise Vegas SUCKS !!!!