Turpigen in the CrockPot
(This is the lychee martini we had at the Four Seasons. It was $18, so I ate my weight in cashews. Doesn’t it look awfully Halloween-ish, like a bloody eyeball?)
So yes, I started today by shoving a ham inside a turkey on live national TV (in a bit of a mistake of a shirt – I’m really not that booby – and if perhaps I am but just don’t know it, I certainly don’t have Nigella’s hourglass middle to pull it off) and then hung out in the hallway with the Wiggles. (Yesterday morning at around the same time, just to contrast this experience, I was making spaetzle for the very first time when I looked down and noticed a giant spider crawling up my right boob, and he was in a hurry, and lets just say that dried spaetzle could be a very effective mortar if it ever needed to be called into action for construction purposes.)
I went straight from the studio – having not yet found a coffee nor had anything to eat since the plane last night – to a two-hour, two-bottle lunch with the editors of Parents Canada magazine, and guess what? I’m their new food editor! (Which had nothing to do with the shiraz, which came afterwards.) And because everyone else had to go back to the office and actually work afterwards, guess who was obligated to ensure the air miles that were spent getting that wine here from Australia weren’t wasted?)
Later, I met a friend in the bar at the Four Seasons, a place full of beautiful, stylish people meeting for apres-work drinks, and hordes of ‘tweens giggling outside the windows, hoping to catch a glimpse of a Jonas brother, all of whom were apparently staying at the hotel with their parents. The Wiggles AND the Jonas Brothers IN ONE DAY? I must be dreaming.
From there we went to a little event put on by the organizers of the Edinburgh Festivals to promote the 7 festivals they have every August (in 2009 – 34,236 performances by over 18,000 performers from 60 different countries – wow), hosted by a Scottish stand-up comic wearing a leather kilt and army boots and drank 18 year old scotch. They served teeny hors d’oeuvres, the most memorable being Parmesan crisps pressed into mini muffin cups (before they cooled, so that they set like that) and then filled with finely shredded lettuce tossed with Caesar dressing. Must try to recreate that when I get home. I’m really glad they didn’t make me eat haggis.
When M dropped me back at my hotel, I dumped my stuff and walked up and down King Street until late, stopping in a Vietnamese shop for greasy, gingery chicken spring rolls and pad Thai topped with lemongrass shrimp.
And now I can tell you how to cook turkey in a CrockPot! There’s not much to it, actually. Start with a 10-12 lb. turkey (mine was 4.5 kg) and a 6-6.5 qt oval CrockPot. (There are some pretty good sales on right now – one at Costco.) If you want to do a turpigen, shove a 1 kg. football-shaped precooked ham (like a Black Forest or honey ham) into the bird, otherwise you could stuff it with bread stuffing or a lemon, some garlic cloves and fresh herbs. Rub it with oil and/or butter and sprinkle with salt and pepper, and put it in the CrockPot. Tuck fresh herbs around it if you like. I didn’t even bother adding any liquid – the turkey does that on its own.
Put on the lid and if there are gaps, cover the lid with foil to seal them. Cook on high for 2 hours (I just did this to get it going more quickly) and then reduce the heat to low for 4-6 hours, until impossibly tender. No need to baste.
It won’t be quite as golden as the oven makes it – if you want to crisp up the skin, transfer the cooked turkey to a roasting pan, 9″x13″ baking pan or cookie sheet and put it under the broiler for a few minutes.
October 07 2009 | leftovers | 31 Comments »
